Sorry ya'll I've been really busy I really do not have the time to update the blog! I can't bear to delete the blog though, all the past memories are here! nvm nvm, I shall try my best to keep the blog alive now that the holidays are here! =)

Finally school holidays - didnt really feel so energetic for school the past semester, this is bad because its so not like me, I wonder why...

Had Polytechnic Forum Activities today! I can't wait for Pulai Springs Vacation on the 14th-17th Sept! ONE MORE WEEEEEKKK!! So apparently polytechnic forum has been quite fun so far. Presentation on behalf of my sub theme tomorrow, I hope whatever I prepared in the slides are relevant. I have no intentions of making myself a clown, tyvm.

You know, so much of things have been happening lately, I feel my head spinning right round right round. No really, having to tend to so many things at one time really makes one go crazy, particulary me! I kinda sleeptalk so much these days also! Argh! I think I need one day to myself to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep the day away!

Okay lah apart from having to do so many things, I dont really have any more things left to whine about, lol. Oh finally my bangs have grown and my fringe is back.to.the.side. ha-ha-ha. I think I looked like a complete idiot with bangs, though some people said it suited me fine, my ass. I didnt really like it, such a horror! I'm happy with my pretty hair now so I shall not sound like a pampered brat anymore.


Nice right? I know.


This is Amanda. Yea go ahead. Vivian lai look alike, no?


SEE ME WITH BANGS. ewwww.

Time will tell
Or
Time will heal

Which one am I supposed to expect? Sometimes I feel myself so stuck in certain circumstances that it becomes almost impossible to ever expect anything. If I choose to believe that time will tell, what exactly I am expecting time to tell me, I wonder. Tell me how much I would benefit if I stop giving in to those who don’t really appreciate or for the matter those who are not worthy of me?

If time will heal, will the same thing happen again sooner than I expect? As much as I hate to admit, I don’t like the feeling of being lost and stuck. I hate it when I can’t make myself feel normal as I always have. Back in secondary school, I swear upon anything I never once felt the way I feel these days.
There are a few people I really thank for being a part of me and these people deserve the best in life for being the best people around.

I was having a conversation with my bestest “partner” a while ago and I sort of realized that I’ve the best people around me in my life currently that I really don’t need any additions (: I’m feeling more than just happy with one less pest in my life.

So, we were talking about appreciating one another and being the strong pillar of support all the time. We were making fun of everything and everyone we could, we were talking and talking about everything and anything under sun it almost felt like hours passed like seconds. We were swinging on swings just like little kids. We were munching on strawberries and being all so satisfied with how good it tastes. We were making meanings out of words which seemed like we were reading each other’s minds. I love this partner of mine so much that words can’t even explain. Dear you know who you are, we can fight till the cows come home and irritate each other to the maximum, but you are someone I want to grow old with. I want to look back and say you’re the best! I want to turn around and say I didn’t make a mistake! Thank you for tolerating my cries, whines and complains whenever I quarrel with someone. You the best!

:)

I'm back to blogging after such a long time, like finally. The result of procastination has detrimental effects,really.

So what I've been up to pretty much revolves around successfully making it through Pre U Seminar from which friendships forged stays close to me. :] Discovered my long lost cousin from there as well, what're the chances? Pretty much made new friends from all around Singapore and I realized friendship doesnt just revolve around 1 or 2 people in your life. I was touched to see how SG 18 bonded soon after Pre U Sem started.

So anyhow, E55A is a real blessing. I am happy for the friends I've made in this class. But im getting so tired of school I wanna go back to relief teaching! oh oh speaking about it, my class has like 7 relief teachers now! cool or what! All i had to do was share how I spent my holidays and soon enough 6 others are ready to join me! I hope they have an awesome experience doing relief teaching, or not they're gonna hate me :P

Some pictures to share:






















No seriously, so much has been happening that now I get down to blogging, I dont know which event to start off with.

Okay Reshmi's 18th first.

Held a celebration for her in her class.
That was pretty much the first part of the celebrations. :]


I hope you had fun!

Second part of the celebrations saw us at Mount Faber.



I'm more than certain reshmi loved this alot because she's always wanted to go to Mount Faber. And she loves sceneries. Took the cable car for the first time as well. oh well, at least she enjoyed her memorable 18th birthday :]


In the car on the way to school this morning, had a general talk with my mum and it was on the most sensitive topic. My grandfather. What we spoke about got me so emotional that I cried in silence and secretly, since I was sitting at the back. I still find it difficult to talk about such a topic up to date. I guess Im acceptable to the fact that he's no longer with us, but im not over that fact.

I really loved my grandfather alot. Every morning I remember walking up to him and saying one or two lines before heading off for anything, I remember kissing him goodnight everyday. I remember sponging him when he used to have high fever. I remember cleaning him when he dirties himself. I remember how he used to laugh with a smile so wide when we used to joke at home. I remember when he used to fetch me from Kindergarten and would always always always bring a sweet along. I remember how he'll always offer me food before he eats it. I remember how he used to tell me to be a good girl because life is not always as easy as we take it. I remember how he used to cheer me up when I come back from school so stressed. I remember how we used to sit and watch tv together.

The first shock came when he had dementia. I thought that was the end. I thought we'd all be gradually forgotten. It was hard to accept, but I took it in my stride and still thanked the fact that he was still with us. Thankfully, it was mild and on and off he still remembers who is who and what to do. I clearly remember when I was standing beside him in NUH ICU unit, and the only two people he responded to was my dad and me. Tears welled up that very moment. I knew my grandfather understood I was there as I always had been.

I saw him grow from such a strong man to someone so old and feeble with his health deteoriating one aspect at a time. Though it hurt so terribly to see him go through so much over the so weak and thin body he had, I couldn't do anything. Ambulance after ambulance in my house everytime he goes all weak and sick. From NUH, it was back home and in not more than a month, he was admitted to CDC. I knew clearly those were the last few days. A few instances we were warned to "be prepared". A few instances we rushed all the way down, but we were still 'lucky'. And then on the 24th March, he passed away in the afternoon. When I got the call from my mother and I heard her crying, I knew that instant, that was it. I had no means of expressing that sadness I've bottled up for so long other than crying my lungs out. That day was the last day I had my closest grandparent with me. He shared everything with me and meant the world to me. Him before anyone else.

But now, though he's gone, he's with me always in that fragile heart of mine. I try to keep myself so occupied so that I dont have time to think. But the moment Im left alone at home, I go all weak and emotional again. Home is just different without him.

My dearest grandfather, today was the one day every since you passed away that I got to talk to my mother about you. Wherever you may be now, do know that I still thank you for giving me all you have and for all you did. For all that happened, you were who God blessed me with. I love you with all my heart. I really yearn for you to be by my side, but its a wish which can never be granted. I've lost you forever but I still love you forever. :)

AARTI GUPTA
9th June 1991.
Crossed Religion.
Drama and Debate (:
Dont read me, i'm an equation you can never solve

VRM;
4e2!;
Amanda;
Adriel;
Ashley;
Coach Zhao Yang;
Carin;
Colin;
CULTURE PRESENTATION!;
Eliza;
Erika;
Elaine;
Fiqa;
Fiza;
Gina;
Hazirah;
Izuwan;
Iskandar;
Jamal;
Jiaqi;
Johnboy;
Jaime;
Jervenne;
Jaswin;
JingYing;
Jun Hao;
Jue Ying;
Jiamin;
Kephren;
Meutia;
Marlene;
Melissa;
Madeleine;
Noriz;
Nico;
Nadiah;
Nadeerah;
Pei Jun;
Rachel;
Regina;
Sandhya;
Stacey;
Samantha;
Sara;
Shaheedah;
Sylvia;
Sean;
Shikin;
Sabrina;
Seri;
Shilin;
Sze Qian;
Theresa;
Tanglin SC! (:;
Vincent;
Weiqian;
Xuan Xin;
Yan;
Yuqi;
Yenxi;

It took time to see.

October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009

Blogskin: Eclair-x
Pictures: Foto Decadent
Headers: stinkyy's say goodbye!.

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